I'll admit it.
There have been days where the thought of sending Jake to school has crossed my mind. Is that horrible? Can a homeschooling mom today show any sign of weakness? Of questioning? Do we have to have it all together all of the time? I don't know. Hopefully there isn't some group of people scouring the internet in search of these doubts to stack up against our efforts to teach our children at home.
Yes, I have my moments. When my little daydreamer is turning his "n"s into herbivore teeth or his pencil into a crawling bug that can't seem to stay in the lines. Or when he thinks it is cool to color apples out of the lines because they are "squirting out their juice." When his mind overflows into his mouth, imagining some story instead of completing story problems. When two hours of school pass instead of two hours of cleaning. I can even admit to paying him 1 cent per problem he gets done before the timer goes off just to get him to focus.
I have thought about nice walks in the morning on our way to school or after-school talks over snacks. But the thing I just can't get over is the in-between time. The time between 8 and 3 that he would be missing from my life.
And then there are moments like this. How could I ever give this time up?