One year ago...new baby Ollie was crying in his bathtub which was placed over a sink of dirty dishes. The big ones were busily playing in their typical loud manner. Dinner was boiling over and the timer had just gone off for something or other. (was it a time out ending or something else I was supposed to remember?).
Josh got home in the midst of this and quickly walked RIGHT BY all of the commotion. Really, dear? Seriously? He goes to the back of the house and, assuming he is getting into the shower, I direct my attention back to the crying babe in the tub.
Out comes Josh again and reaches up to the top of the fridge where we keep the special bottle of wine reserved for the celebration of the imminent news of our new child. Before I can remind him of the reason behind the bottle, he thrusts it in front of my face "relabeled" with a picture of a small, beautiful little baby.
WHAT????? Are you SERIOUS?!!
All the noise fades away for a moment as I soak up the features of his face. We are both crying. Fortunately, Josh anticipated my response enough to watch Oliver in the bath. After a moment, we enter back into the reality of the moment, but our lives are changed by this face forever.
The next few months would prove the hardest as longing to hold our son at times overwhelmed me. Thoughts about his care and his health could not be resolved and continued to haunt my mind. Questions on his personality or his development...his first smile, (did he know how to smile?) all remained just out of reach. Snapshots of a few facial expressions to span weeks of his life.
But he was ours. And it was a perfect match.
We love you, little Geda.
I remember so well each of these pictures. Comparing them against each other, the excitement of each e-mail entitled "New information of Geda" and the somewhat sinking feeling each time I saw how much he changed. I spent hours looking at the photos: measuring his head against the bouncers, looking deeply for a faint smile in the red bouncer, the shaved head in the second update..."NO!" This was surely the hardest of the adoption times. It would be three months until we held him in our arms. Three very long months.
I thank God for those who cared for him during those months. And I thank God he was given to us. I thank God for you, Noah.