Meanwhile, in the same park...

The sun has come out! My husband and I, with our two sons in tow, walk across the park in search of the best place to unfold our picnic blanket. There could never be enough picnics! We settle onto our blanket as Jake runs over to the playground...not for the slide or swings, but for the sand: he loves to croutch down and let it slide through his hands. I sit Max down in the grass but keep a close eye on him: sitting is a newly acquired skill. My husband and I discuss our days; soon he is off with our son coaxing him through a tunnel.

Meanwhile, in the same park...
A couple passes by with a toddler sandwiched inbetween. He is about as sturdy on his feet as Max is on his bottom. It is a cute sight. They pass by where we are sitting, making their conversation fall within my earshot: "She said he slept well today." said the mom. "That's good...did you tell her what to do about his eating?" replied the father. So went the conversation. It was apparent that the little boy had been with someone other than the two of them for the day. I only hope "she" is taking pictures to go along with the daily stories...because those are the memories they will have of their son growing up. At least "she" relays to the parents his milestones.

Meanwhile, in the same park...
A preschooler gets scolded. Apparently he has been pegged as a trouble maker, but it really wasn't his fault. I guess it is hard for the day-care worker to see everything when there are over twenty children in your care. Other children in the group run around the park: there are the cute-social girls all skipping together by the ones who aren't quite as cute, there are the boys who are crazy...running fast and intermingling with everyone, then there are the ones who wander, almost aimlessly, around the playground waiting for someone to talk to them because they are too shy to make the first move and too quiet to be heard if they did. I have a feeling this is where my Jake would fit in. I look for him almost expecting him to be one of these children. I am relieved to see him with his dad under the playstructure talking a mile-a-minute.
Soon the whistle blows and twenty-some kids come running in comotion...trying to find their "buddy" and get in the line that will lead them back to the day-care room.

I am the nanny with whom you leave your child.
I came equipped with the best references, a love for children and respect for adults. Well worth the 3.50 you paid me per hour. I did the best I could with your son, but I think he had adhd. More than once I had to resort to locking him in his room...as you had instructed...while his temper ran down. I once thought that a cruel idea, but after he threw a video tape at his little brother, hitting him in the head, I decided perhaps it was necessary. Did I every tell you about that? There was a lot I wasn't sure if I should tell you about. Like the time Josh (2 yrs) got into your makeup, or when Jeremiah (7yrs) hit his bus driver. I also didn't tell you when Josh took his first step or when Mckaila sat up for the first time. Should I have told you those things? I enjoyed playing mommy with your children: dressing them up and taking their pictures, but by 2:00pm I was ready to go home. Unfortunately you were late again.

I am the day-care worker at the center where your child attends.
My background was checked, I had the experience they needed and a love for kids. I wish I could show that love more. My first day with your infant I was happy to cradle her in my arms...until the lead teacher told me to put her down. "There are a dozen infants in here. If we hold one, they will all want to be held and that isn't possible. You are only to hold one if they cry." Disheartened, I sat back and watched the infants entertain themselves. What I was there for, I don't know.
I also had chances to supervise your toddlers and preschoolers. We took them to the park, but I wasn't able to play with them. I took my "post" at one corner of the playground to supervise the numerous children running around with yours. If your child is hurt, I help him up. If he is naughty, I put him on a time out. If he runs out of the boundaries, I chase him; but I can't comfort him long, someone else needs my attention. I can't address the heart of his behavior, he must sit on time-out alone. And I can't play with him...there are just too many children for that. I used to feel sorry for the shy kids. All they did was sit alone. I knew that they would love my attention, but I couldn't...there were just too many.

I am now a stay at home mom.
As much love as I thought I had for your children, I never could imagine the depth of parental love. My sons are always with me: always in my care. If they need held, I hold them; if they misbehave, I discipline them...right down to the heart; and if they come to a milestone...a first...I am there to see it. Some days are slow, some days are busy. Sometimes we play, sometimes they play on their own. There are no constrictions on time, no other children fighting for my attention. I don't have deadlines to meet or meetings to attend. Yesterday Jake helped me plant flowers...learning about seeds. Today I think we will make cookies. One of the best things about being a hands-on mother is the lessons drawn from everyday life: today he will learn that when ingredients are put together well, the product will be sweet.

What ingredients go into making your child? The nanny? The Day-care? Or you?

Related Tags: Day care, Park, Spring, Nanny, Stay-at-home mom, mom, lesson, toddler, infant

Quote from the Fathers

Sing to the Lord a new song

y dear brothers and sisters, sons and daughters, fruit of the true faith and holy seed of heaven, all you who have been born again in Christ and whose life is from above, listen to me; or rather, listen to the Holy Spirit saying through me: Sing to the Lord a new song. Look, you tell me, I am singing. Yes indeed, you are singing; you are singing clearly, I can hear you. But make sure that your life does not contradict your words. Sing with your voices, your hearts, your lips, and your lives: Sing to the Lord a new song.

Now it is your unquestioned desire to sing of him whom you love, but you ask me how to sing his praises. You have heard the words: Sing to the Lord a new song, and you wish to know what praises to sing. The answer is: His praise is in the assembly of the saints; it is in the singers themselves. If you desire to praise him, then love what you express. Live good lives, and you yourselves will be his praise. -Agustine of Hippo

Home for Easter

What are your memories? Large family get-togethers? Grandpa carving the ham? Teasing uncles and doting aunts? Girl cousins in fancy dresses? Boy cousins in grass-stained suites? My family Easter memories encompassed all of these and more...oh yea, and we went to church in the morning.

But this Easter was different. This Easter was spent with another family. A family whom I am only beginning to know. A family made up of all different backgrounds, all different last names, and no common grandparent to join us and bring us together. So what is the common ground on which we call each other "family?" That common ground is Christ and that family is the body, the bride of Him who died and rose again. This Easter, we spent at church.

It was "coincidence" that the potluck happened to fall upon Easter Sunday: a pastoral candidate was preaching that week and the church members wanted to hold a potluck to get to know him and his family. I, however, was glad to hear our celebration of the Ressurection would be extended into the afternoon. I would miss the traditional family's get-together...something always enjoyable...but this was fitting. It just seemed right.

Let me back up six months. You remember the season...Christmas? You know...the other major "Jesus" holiday? Well, 'tis the season for traditions. We all strive for great memorable traditions which, we hope, our children would feel a loss without. Unfortunately it appeared as though, for some, these traditions were headed full speed towards another tradition: one would have to budge. You see, this year Christmas fell on a Sunday. The issue hadn't arrisen for 7 or so years. People began to complain: "Christmas won't be the same without our Christmas Morning traditions." SO...for many churches...it was canceled. What followed was a colision of blog opinions, sermon explanations and even media coverage. Most bloggers seemed outraged at the thought of actually canceling church; pastors attemped to justify their decision by claiming they heard from God on the matter, and the outside world attempted to understand why on earth Christians would cancel their religious gathering on one of the most religious days of the year.

Well, on that Christmas day as our family gathered together for Morning Worship, I realized what a delight it was to spend time celebrating the birth of our Savior together as His bride. And since that occasion, I have more fully appreciated the family of believers. That is the background for my excitement to prolong our Easter celebration together as a church family.

This is all very new to me. I have never felt this close to a circle of believers. Perhaps this comes from a new understanding of the covenental body...perhaps it is a new attitude on my part. I don't know, but one thing I am sure of:

When celebrating the wonderous events in Christianity, there is "no place like home."

Related Tags: Easter, Family, Church, Home, Christmas

Quote for the Day: Basil the Great

How great is God's goodness

et us strive to comprehend the mystery. The reason God is in the flesh is to kill the death that lurks there. As diseases are cured by medicines and assimilated by the body, and as darkness in a house is dispelled by the coming of light, so death, which held sway over human nature, is done away with by the coming of God. And as ice formed on water covers its surface as long as night and darkness last but melts under the warmth of the sun, so death reigned until the coming of Christ; but when the grace of God our Savior appeared and the Sun of Justice rose, death was swallowed up in victory, unable to bear the presence of true life. How great is God’s goodness, how deep his love for us!

Let us join the shepherds in giving glory to God, let us dance with the angels and sing: Today a Savior has been born to us. He is Christ the Lord. The Lord is God and he has appeared to us, not as God, which would have been terrifying for our weakness, but as a slave so as to free those who live in slavery. Who could be so lacking in sensibility and so ungrateful as not to join all here present in our gladness, exultation, and radiant joy? This feast belongs to the whole of creation. Let everyone contribute and be grateful. Let our voices too ring out in songs of jubilation.

-Basil the Great (330-379), bishop of Caesarea,

Related Tags: Basil the Great, Church Fathers, Quotes, God's Greatness, Jesus, Annunciation

Lessons from watching the stars...and their babies

It is "all the buz" today: Tom and his wife had their baby! Neat!
honestly, I had not idea the scope to which some people paid attention to the tabloids. I had this idea that it was really just for supermarket line entertainment. (I have to admit I glance that way in the never-ending lines). It wasn't until I spent some time with an old friend from high school that I realized how much the lives of the stars occupy the conversations of us who don't shine so brightly. My friend (and her middle-school aged sister) had stacks of tabloids and discussed in detail their personal lives. What put me over the edge was this:

"Paris is going on vacation" the elder replied
"Is she taking her Pookie" (Or whatever her little dog's name is) in a serious questioning tone from the young sister.
"No...it says she is leaving her with 'so and so'."
"Are you serious? Oh, I wouldn't trust her with the dog!"

The conversation continued, interspersed with mentions of how cute (or how horrid) the outfits and trends of certain loved celebrities were. WOW!

So, does this star-gazing fade out with the passing of time? Do these youths get their heads out of the clouds when their time comes to grow up, get married, have a family and "put off childish things?" Unfortunately, by the articles gracing the media, the answer is a resounding "no."

So, what do these young (and old) mom's hope to learn from their obsession with the stars and their starlets? I don't know, but here are questions that can be answered by the tabloids:

1. What is the best stroller?
2. What stroller will make me and my baby look the best?
3. How should I dress my baby/ my toddler/ my school-aged child
4. How should a mom dress?
5. What is cool for a mom to do with her time?

Of course, the list goes on and on in this way. This is what some moms are looking to for direction in child-rearing. Forget sound wisdom, training of children, addressing issues of character, attitude, or other items of virtue...those aren't really important.

unfortunately, the answers received from these questions are different for mother than they are for child. Here is how the child may be answered...

1. Mom is proud to show me off...push me around in this great stroller.
Would she be as proud of me if our stroller was ugly?
2. My clothes are cuter than that kid! My mom really cares how I look.
Would she still love me if I looked as frumpy as he does?
3. My mom is the best dressed mom in town...
I wish she wouldn't worry about her clothes for a while...just so she could play on the floor or paint a picture with me.
4. My mom is involved and she makes sure to take time for herself.
This is what I hear: Mommy has to leave...She has to go to work. Then she has to go have time to herself. Then she has to have time with her friends. Then she has to put us to bed because she just needs some peace and quiet. I wish she would be with me. But she's too cool for that.

Those who shine brightly in this world are reflections of the world in which they shine. Take a look at what they shine forth: fame, possessions, wealth, shallow happiness; a fleeting beauty that, despite the best attempts money can buy, will fade and burn out as quickly as a star in the perspective of eternity. Is this how you want your children to see you?

These children will grow up to become like you. But (for you Christians) will they have the discernment to know what is safe to imitate? Or will they only know that mom looks to the stars, so it must be okay to imitate them in all they do? Hmm...Tom Cruise is a Scientologist. That sounds trenty...maybe I will try it!

I hope to keep my eyes fixed on the eternal Light, mirroring Him and shining forth as a star which will not fade with time. I hope to project the undying virtues of love, honor, faith, and grace to my children so that they may realize that although this earth and it's wealth will pass away, God has given them eternity in their hearts.

Lord give me the grace to accomplish this!

ps. I don't fault the stars for this: it isn't their fault people are crazy enough to pay attention to their every decision!

Related Tags: Tom Cruise, Baby, Star gazing, Baby Cruise, Scientology, Paris Hilton, Britney Speers, Tabloid, News, obsession

Too much Thomas?

How do you know when you have had the rational limit of talking vehicles? I am not sure, but I feel we are approaching it, whatever it is. My son, Jake is rather intrigued with Thomas the Train. Actually, he is interested in anything that can be given a voice and talked with. Needless to say I get involved in numerous automobile conversations throughout each day.

Well, I suppose I considered myself outside of the sphere of imagination's influence...until the other day. There I was, working in the yard, when I spotted our old van driving. Did it stop? Turn in to say hello? No! It just drove right on by. For a moment of irrational thinking, I half expected the van to know it's old home. I was well aware the driver was unknown, but our van...how could he just drive on by! Fortunately, this took place in seconds, but I sure did feel silly afterwards!

This got me thinking...trying to remember: what is it like to be in a child's mind again? What is it like to experience the comfort of a favorite puppy, the excitement of playing out a scenario with toys, or the horror of seeing your favorite stuffed animal tossed into the washing machine? Do I remember the seriousness of play?

Do you remember?

Mourning

There seems to be an unspoken social rule amongst many Christians that we should put off mourning for our believing loved ones who leave this earth; that we should only rejoice that they have gone on to be in the arms of the Father. While I agree that it is a joyous occasion for a Christian to be united with our Lord, I cannot stop myself from shedding tears and I will not act as though all is well, for I believe there is reason to mourn.

Already, in the youth of this new year, I have had to say goodbye to two incredible women of faith. I have mourned for them both.

Blanch Balsbaugh died with over 90 years behind her. For 24 of those years she has been a grandmother to me: an always dear part of my life. The memories of childhood mingle together with my more recent memories of her, and they are all interlaced with the knowledge of her love for us. Her whole joy was tied together in the Lord and the family he had blessed her with; she showed that joy by constant devotion.
She was a part of my life from before I was born. She was always there. I cried for my grandmother because her passing has left a whole in my life. Her's was the home I could always go to for comfort, peace, and a retreat from whatever problems or cares I was facing in the world outside. Hers was the chair by which I could sit: knowing that my words (or my silence) would be accepted and treasured. Her life affected me in ways I will never know, for I am a part of her; a descendant of this great lady.
No longer will I make the 30 minute drive I know so well just to sit by her chair. No longer will I hear the endearing words of love from her. No one will ever be able to encourage or comfort like grandma could. I will miss her presence in my life perhaps more than any loss I have ever known. For this I mourn.

Agnes Ferngren left this world last month after battling cancer. She was 67. We had only attended the same church for about 2 years and as I sat in her memorial service, another type of mourning hit me which I had not experienced before. I looked around at the nearly-packed sanctuary. I listened to those who had known her well and to her eulogy: both a tribute to the life she lived.
I had not known the depth of this woman's life. I cried for Agnes because I knew I wouldn't have the chance to be further touched by her graciousness. I mourned because I saw what a beautiful presence her life was and I knew that the earth no longer felt the warmth it put forth. I felt regret at all the lessons I could have learned from her, had only I known her more.

Of course, my love for both of these souls causes me to rejoice for them: for the suffering they no longer feel and the joy that is now complete as they abide with the Lord. But in my sadness I am forced to be drawn back to the earth. As I mourn, I realize the chance I am given to reflect those beautiful traits back to others. The impact of those who are now gone can remain in my life as I mirror what I loved about them. The tenderness with which my grandmother held my newborn son; the patience with with she interacted with my toddler; the love she showed to anyone who crossed her path. It was said of her that "There was no one Grandma didn't like; but even if she didn't like you, you'd never know." The love she showed was sincere for she loved everyone as a child of God.

In my sadness I also look around to see the lives which are still here. We are surrounded by men and women every day. Instead of skimming the surface of their lives with small talk, I am encouraged to draw from the well of their experience, seeking the wisdom God has given them throughout their journey before it is too late.

Weep on, dear soul, when lives such as these are taken from the earth. When you say goodbye to the brilliance of their hearts.
Weep on, dear soul, as you loose the chance to bask in the rays of a saint's wisdom; as you fill your days with frivolity instead of friendships.
Weep on, dear soul, when their living example is taken, leaving us behind only to grasp to hold on to our memories of their character: the character we so desire to have.
Yes, weep on; but when your weeping is done, rejoice that you have been given another day: another day to mirror to others what they mirrored to you. Rejoice that you have been given another day...another day to show God's love.



Related Tags: Funeral, Memorial, Mourning, Sadness, Death, Dying, Saint, Example, Grandmother

The immigration issue: law or mercy?

Immigration. Talk about a current hot-spot! It seems that everyone who happens to get their voice heard falls plainly on one side or the other: Do we kick them out for breaking the law or do we accept them into the land of the free?
So where do you side?

As a Christian it is my belief that, when addressing issues such as this, we are to step back from politics, social trends, personal interest, and even the accepted conservative opinion before landing on one side or the other.

So, on one hand there is the law which deems illegal immigrants as, well, illegal. From a law standpoint, they should not be here. Aren't we as Christians called to uphold the law and those who enforce it?

On the other hand, upon hearing the stories of these people it is hard not to sympathize with their extreme hardships as well as commend their vigorous work ethic. Besides, above all, aren't we as Christians called to show compassion and mercy?

It is the weighing of these two issues which has forced me to ponder the Christian's roll in caring for the poor and downcast, from the homeless veteran to the illegal immigrant.

The difficulty falls upon the sort of law we live under. It seems as though all of the "caring" is mandated these days by the government; and while it is great to see compassion in government, I have to ask whether or not that makes a overall less compassionate individual. When a person sees their money being taken to support those who are receiving government funds, are they less likely to give their money away? There is almost a despising of the underprivileged; a sort of hostile attitude similar to the reaction in a child's heart who is forced to share. Do you think that child really cares for the feeling of the other child? Does forced sharing honestly promote compassion?

I think the average conservative republican Christian could go far in uniting forces with the democratic side on some of these issues. Perhaps it is because of the issue above or perhaps it is because of a reaction to the liberal's agenda on equality, but I think we Christians have drastically fallen behind in compassion.

I know it would be good for me to remove myself from the "politics" of these issues. Yes, I can put in my one vote, whatever that may be, but the bigger issue is in how I view my fellow human. Just because I may vote to enforce tighter boarders or stricter immigration laws does not mean that I should not reach out to those who are here illegally and make them feel "at home." Just because I vote to decrease state funding and tighten limitations on state-given assistance does not mean that I shouldn't feed the poor from my own pockets or provide shelter for the homeless.

What I am saying is this: I believe Christians must take the attitude of Christ (whose death we remember today). Don't let your qualms with how the government is run affect your Christian service. Perhaps if we as a church would step up in compassion, we wouldn't need the state's help. It is our calling after all.

Related Tags: Immigration,, Illeagal Immigrant, Boarders, Immigration, Compassion, Christian Service, Liberal, Democrat, Republican, Christian, State assitance, State funding, Mercy

The Biblical Name Trend: Men of Faith Through the Eyes of the Faithless

In a recent article in USA Today, a celebrity trend is addressed which is brought into the news with the arrival of Gwyneth Paltrow's new son, Moses...just in time for Passover.
That's right. Apparently Hollywooders (and probably their groupies) are setting the trend to bring Biblical names back into circulation. Yet before you rejoice at a Biblical awakening in these circles, perhaps you should note two explanations of their name choices:

Lisa Rinna and Harry Hamlins daughter: Deliah
Rinna says, "We debated because of the Biblical aspect of it: She cut off Samson's hair. But she is such a strong willed girl that I can't imagine her having any other name."
Evans (a psychology Professor and some sort of "expert") adds "Depicted as a beautiful sexual temptress...almost thumbing your nose at people who take the Bible seriously."

Gwyneth Paltrow's new son: Moses
Aparently from a song written for Gweneth: "As Moses has power over the sea, so you've got power over me."
(Of course, this is coming from the same woman who named her daughter Apple for these reasons: "It conjured such a lovely picture for me -- you know, apples are so sweet, and they're wholesome and it's biblical -- and I just thought it sounded so lovely," How Apple is Biblical? Well, I won't even go there.)

So, there you have it. Stop the little fluttering in your heart which tells you there is a revival in the Hollywood. I don't think this is proof that the parties in Beverly Hills are turning to Home Fellowship Groups. On the contrary, welcome to our Post-Christian nation! Non-Christians have gotten past having to defend themselves as such. Now, it is "hip" to use Biblical names in a "thumbing our noses" sort of way.
Now, in all fairness, most of the critiquing in this article is done by this Professor Evans. I don't know the intent of the actors when they named their children after these famous (and infamous) people of God. But here are some of his "descriptions" of the popular name-sakes:

Aaron -- "Moses's brother and sidekick"
Eve -- "Eve historically has gotten more bad press she probably doesn't deserve--thought of as more at fault than Adam"
Gabriel -- "An angel, just like Michael. In Puritan times, they didn't name their kids after angels because it was considered sacrilegious."
Hannah -- "A woman who prayed to have a kid"
Jacob -- "His claim to fame is stealing his twin brother's birthright"
And finally, little Moses; about which he says, "Moses led the Jews out of Egypt and received the Ten Commandments from God. Moses was certainly a hero," Evans says, "Which can be positive for Gweneth's child"

No mention of their faith, almost no mention of their God. This is how the Bible looks to those who don't believe. Stories which can be used either to mock (Deliah, Gabriel) or to promote some self-assurance (Moses).

I wonder, are they really blind to the reasons we count these men and women as heros? Do they not see that we revere them not because of what they did, but because of their faith in God and His working through them?
We know that faith is a gift, I only wonder how that faith is seen from the eyes of those who don't have it.

Men of Faith through the eyes of the faithless. Don't be surprised how absurd we all must seem.

Related Tags: Moses, Gwyneth Paltrow, Apple, Bible Names, Hollywood, Hollywood Trends, Hollywood Baby, Men of Faith, Faithless

Child Brides

"Your chances are slim, you won't make it with him"
I have heard things like that again and again.
"You haven't grown up, you don't know who you are...
Don't you want to learn what it takes to go far?"
Those are the questions the culture hurls my way,
For I am a wife, a mother, and at "such a young age."

Sometimes I wonder why the rates of divorce are so high among young brides and grooms. For me (Married at age 20, 1st child at 21) marrying young has been the best thing I could imagine. It is true that I probably didn't "know myself" then...I have changed significantly in the past several years. However, I am sure that on my 50th birthday I will look back with the same puzzled remembrance of my 30s. "What was I thinking?" I will ask myself. "Was that really me?"
I don't believe that there is some magical door we enter at some unknown age which suddenly clears up the world's fuzziness and makes us "marriage ready." I think the answer to the high divorce rates lies in what a person has been taught. Does the 21 year old who enters into marriage with the notion that it is her "trial run" really have a better chance in her 30s? I don't know.
I do know that, by marrying before I became so opinionated (as ages seems to produce in us), I am able to grow more easily as "one" with my husband as we both seek to make sense of this world together. My thoughts, opinions and ideas are largely shaped by him (and before you feminists enter into calling this an attack on my individuality, ask yourself what would be so bad about being in such tight agreement with your spouse. I am sure it would certainly lead to less strife in the home).
I also know that marrying young has brought into my life two little blessings who never would have been had I done the things which seem to be a "must have" in today's culture (higher-education, career, financial stability, etc.). Now if I were to ask the average mother if she would trade her children for a college degree and a nice car parked in the driveway, the answer would inevitably be "no, my children mean the world to me." The same is true for me. I cannot imagine a world without these two little boys in it. No degree or house could persuade me otherwise.
Because my family is the greatest gift I have been given in this life (aside from the gift of my faith), I cannot imagine limiting that family by marrying well into the years God has allowed for child-bearing. Children are a blessing, albeit a blessing that sucks energy, forces selflessness and causes attention to self to be thrown out the window. Nonetheless, at the end of my life, the character-building trials of motherhood will far outweigh good looks and fun experiences of younger days.
By marrying young, before I knew everything, I have allowed myself the time to learn while teaching. I have two pairs of little eyes watching everything I do. I intend to continue learning well into motherhood. Instead of pre-marital, pre-children lessons in life, I now have a husband and kids to share in my lessons. That, to me, is much more enjoyable. I am learning how to cook with a chair pushed up to the counter as Jake helps me dump in the ingredients. I am learning how to keep house with Max sitting on my hip laughing as I sing to him over the noise of the vacuum. I am learning about God with my two boys in their Sunday best, watching my every move. Would I trade these things in order to have life's lessons under my belt before motherhood? Never.
Yes, I married young. Yes, I plan on having more than 3 children. Yes, I even plan on home-schooling them. So much for my chances of "cultural coolness." So much for getting in the "successful statistic." But who cares?

Related Tags: Child Bride, Early Marriage, First Marriage, Home Schooling, Divorce, Husband Wife