Showing posts with label adoption. Show all posts
Showing posts with label adoption. Show all posts

Thursday, July 08, 2010

Happy Adoption Day baby!


Two years ago today we were holding little Geda for the first time. I will never forget how still he was. He did nothing but lay on our chests. When we put him down we had to move his legs to see if they worked. No smiles. Only his eyes moved from side to side as he sucked quietly on his finger. I remember watching the other children laughing and smiling at their parents and wondering...when would Noah smile?

Today I watched as a happy ornery boy played at the beach: running in circles, doing summer saults, throwing sand, putting sand in brother's hair, and smiling. Smiling a smile that makes me laugh and fear all at the same time.

We love you Noah. Happy adoption day.


Day one in our arms

One year ago

Noah today




Friday, April 16, 2010

Happy "Referralversary" Noah!

Two years ago, we got the call we'd been waiting to hear. The face we'd dreamt of seeing. Two years ago, Noah was referred to our family and our hearts will forever be bound to him.

We love you to the moon, little man.



Saturday, April 10, 2010

Adoption Get Together once again

We always try to make a point to go up to the events that our adoption agency puts together; (such a drag since they choose gathering places such as the Portland Children's Museum ;) and I always come away with two feelings. 1. The desire to adopt again and 2. The desire to move to Portland. Seriously, adoption communities (at least this one) have to be the greatest people on earth, and Lily will need a sister, right?

We had a great time in a very uncrowded wonderful place to play (for the kids) which led to a wonderful place to talk (for the adults). I even met a family who just moved to Corvallis. Unfortunately, I misplaced your e-mail...so...if you are reading this, please leave a comment ;) It was a great time of seeing old faces and meeting new ones...especially the new little ones who arrived to their families since the last get-together.

Ollie liked to shop

I desperately need to work on my self portraits

More shopping...although it looks like he is taking advantage of a turned back.

Noah found a friend and a button. What more could he need? Seriously...it kept him busy for a very long time!

Babies toes are always a hit

The water room is always fun. Oliver kept dropping his toy and shouting "mommy!!!"... Perhaps an attempt to lure me from my door guard position...but it was cute.

They were soaked.

Lil was a sport.


More shopping.

More fun.

Too much fun for my camera in a dark place with active boys

When having fun, bathroom needs sometimes sneak up on ya!

Good night, good friends. Thank you, Dove, for building such a great adoption family!

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Hair.


Little boy, I love your hair. I love it crazy, I Love it in twists, I love it short or long, done or wild.
I hope you love it too...because it is what God gave you. I hope you never worry what people think or wish it was another way. But if you do, I will help you to understand that you are not your hair. You are beautiful because of the soul God gave you. You are beautiful because you are a child of God. (who just so happens to have great hair.) :)

Little ones, change the expectations. Redefine them as they see the person you are. Beautiful.

Thank you for the link to the song, Janine!











Sunday, January 31, 2010

Celebration of Racial Diversity and The Fight for the Sanctity of Life

Two sermons worthy of our time; Two issues worthy of our Christian passion


"This weekend is Martin Luther King weekend, next week is the Sanctity of Life weekend...they just happen to come back to back each year. One is a democratic issue, the other is a Republican issue. Shouldn't be that way, and I don't give a rip about what party it is. I care a lot about this: Jesus is my king, no man and no party. So if we sound liberalish one weekend and conservativeish another weekend, so be it." - John Piper




Wednesday, December 02, 2009

For those who wait

We recently received news that our family will once again grow through the miracle of adoption. Being unsure if this is common knowledge news, I will refrain from naming names...but you know who you are, and our prayers are with you as you wait.

And for all the others waiting...my prayers are with you and your children in this Christmas Season

Friday, July 10, 2009

Happy Adoption Day, Noah Amsalu!

We don't know when Noah was born. He has a birthday to celebrate like everyone else, but the sentimental attachment to "exactly one year ago" that us Westerners have can't really be said on the day we celebrate his birth. Also, we have no memories of the wonderful special day. No idea of the circumstances or surroundings of his birth.

But Adoption Day! The one year mark came and went yesterday and filled my heart with so much joy to remember that first meeting. His birth into our family and into our arms. We have seen him go from withdrawn, scared little baby to a reserved, quiet goofball!

Dear Noah,
You can read the story of your adoption day, but you will never know the true feelings that were in our hearts the day we first held you in our arms. Immediately you were our son. We loved you more than we realized was possible yet, just like true loves does, the love that was fuller than possibility has only grown in the past year. We love you little man. Happy Adoption Day!

Thursday, June 25, 2009

The Prayer of the Children

Vietnam, Guatemala, Cambodia ...Ethiopia. Hearts of loving parents reach out to help children without homes. My heart aches with the desire for it to be "that easy." But these parents becomes a business to some, or a loophole to others, and corruption grows. Babies are taken from their mothers, paper trails are lost, money is exchanged, and the true orphans suffer and wait.




Adoptions from Ethiopia have swelled from a few hundren in 2004 to over 1700 last year. Noah is among that number. I couldn't help but think that as I read the statistics from the US Immigration web sight. So is each individual child who was brought to the states. Not to mention Australia, France, England, etc. Unfortunately, the number of "abandonments" has also gone up and Ethiopian officials are rightfully concerned. Assuredly there are many more issues and details that I will never know.



So things are taking a little longer nowadays in the Ethiopian adoption world. But I have great respect for the officials who are doing their job to assure that the children who leave the country really do need homes. May God be with them in their efforts. My prayers are with all of those working for the children.


But most of all, my prayers are with the children.

So when this song came onto my Pandora station, I couldn't hold back tears. I find myself battling anger towards those who exploit children and sadness that it isn't easier to help these suffering children. God help us all to do our part.

Can you feel the hearts of the children aching for home, for something of their very own. Reaching hands with nothing to hold on to but hope for another day...

Crying Jesus helf me to feel the love again in my own land.
But if unknown roads lead away from home

Give me loving arms away from harm.

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Questions from the Backseat

The distance that spans from the driver seat to the back seats where the older boys sits is often beyond my range of clear understanding when something is yelled up my way; especially with littles usually talking or crying and the radio playing music. But I typically get a general idea what they are saying.

"Mama!?! will you ever sell us?"


"What did you say, Max?"


"WILL........... YOU ........... EVER .........SELL .......... US??????


Following was the obvious: "absolutely not...you are my sons forever...you will be my sons until I die...and we will talk about it when we get home."


Fast forward several blocks and a few minutes getting everyone in the door and I get the question again, "You will NEVER sell us?"

Well, it isn't difficult to guess where they got the idea. Fundraising, talk of money (don't think your kids aren't listening...even to nonchalant conversations), and finally bringing home Noah. So they got a basic lesson in child trafficking. No...not really, but it was good to explain where the money goes, why Noah's circumstances were different than ours, and even lessons on poverty, third world countries, sacrificial love, taxes, social welfare, and our duty to help those less fortunate, and, yes, why babies are not sold. (with some age-appropriate sugar coating) It was a good talk.
They both got down seemingly content with my answers. Next on the adgenda, "Mommy...when we die, can we ALL be burried together? You and Daddy and Jake and me and the babies?"
Anyone know any good family plots for sale?

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Checking Him Out...With No Return Date

Today is the day. Three months ago we drove to his orphanage for the last time, signed the papers, and casually drove away with him in our arms...leaving his home and bringing him to ours.

I was talking with my mom yesterday of this upcoming "monthly mark" and I used the words "we checked him out." She responded "Yep...and no due date."

I chuckled. It was funny.

As the day went on, however, my heart got heavy with these words. "No return date."

God grant that someday...we will return. That he will return.

Thursday, October 09, 2008

Words on Yesterday's Wordless Wednesday

Those who are close to us (in vicinity) know the change that Noah has been through.

He came from Ethiopia somber. Withdrawn. He did not cry except when he was hungry and he did not laugh. Smiles were few and far between and this left us hoping that it was just his personality.

The tear falling from his eye in the picture below was the most common form of his emotion. No sounds or movements; just a silent tear from his sweet, sad eyes.

I didn't expect this. I must admit. But something in Noah just needed to wait...to observe...and perhaps to morn.

Those days are now gone and Noah feels his place in our home...in our family. He is a joy with his squeals of excitement and waves of happiness. When a hug is needed, go to Noah and he will wrap his tiny arms around you and bury his head on your shoulder. Every day seems to bring a new, shining part of his personality.

We won't forget those first few weeks. We won't forget whatever he was morning.

We will not forget Ethiopia.

Monday, September 15, 2008

Movie Monday

I have been selfishly holding my memories of Ethiopia close...protecting them from people who just won't understand the fullness of them from a simple blog post. I know. This is selfish, and wrong. But the time I wish I could devote to explaining our trip has not been available and, like I said, they are memories that are deeper than I could explain.

But I will try.

Before we left for Ethiopia, I purchased a cd of Paul Simon. I listened to this song time and time again as it made it's way through the rotation, but it was not until we returned that it became More to me.

The feeling of Africa: like nothing I have ever experienced. There was something...was it in the air? was it the people? was it the buildings? It was unexplainable but it was entrancing. Something made me want to be part of it as I looked with foreign eyes through my car window. The pace was so fast, and yet relaxed. Always moving yet not hurriedly. There was too much to take in and no way to breathe in the feeling as deeply as I desired.

It wasn't until one of the last days, as we walked across a busy road, that it hit us. This was the rhythm of Africa that is so prized! Their lives, the traffic, the buying and selling, all follows a rhythmic pattern...over and over...never jolting or stopping until an outsider attempts to jump in. My fingers freeze as I try to describe it because I know that only in experiencing it will one understand. And our experience is so shallow.

The best way I can think of is to explain it in dancing terms. Our life is a waltz or foxtrot or some other such regimented, ruled kind of dance. The stop signs and traffic signals, the activities and plans of our days seem to follow calculated steps with the occasional showy dip or spin. But Africa. Not Africa. The rhythm is natural. Understood. Never still...ever moving. Beautiful.

The following video was put together to remember. There are many hidden things within the video which you will not understand. Many critiques you could find. But they are meaningful to me.

Such as the speed with which some of the photos are played representing how they moved by our car as we tried with all our might to remember them. Or how the music plays in meaningful placement to the photographs (if you are the kind who listens to the words of the song).

There is one photograph of which the memory is almost haunting. The photo at the end of the song of a mother and her child was taken as we were handing out bread to the beggars at the monastery gate. As I walked away, I saw her taking her child by the cheeks and pressing them to look at me...as she pointed and put the bread in front of his face. I walked back and knelt down as I took his hand and then hers. Never will I forget the look in her eyes. It was not simply "thank you for the bread." but a look of connection as we both held our babies in our arms and looked at the life of the other...the life of a mother loving her child.

I hope we can teach Noah to remember. I pray we can remember ourselves.



Joseph's face was black as night
The pale yellow moon shone in his eyes
His path was marked
By the stars in the southern hemisphere
And he walked his days
Under African skies
This is the story of how we begin to remember
This is the powerful pulsing of love in the vein
After the dream of falling and calling your name out
These are the roots of rhythm
And the roots of rhythm remain

In early memory
Mission music
Was ringing round my nursery door
I said take this child, lord
From Tucson Arizona
Give her the wings to fly through harmony
And she wont bother you no more

This is the story of how we begin to remember
This is the powerful pulsing of love in the vein
After the dream of falling and calling your name out
These are the roots of rhythm
And the roots of rhythm remain

Joseph's face was black as night
And the pale yellow moon shone in his eyes
His path was marked
By the stars in the southern hemisphere
And he walked the length of his days
Under African skies.

Somewhere in Africa, those who gave Noah life walk under African skies.
Someday we will return with Noah.
For now, we will remember.

Monday, August 18, 2008

In Love!

I feel like I am wrapped up in a romantic film...a girl is madly in love with a boy, yet fully aware that she is "just a friend" to him. For her it was love at first sight; to him she no different than any other nice girl. And then it happens on a quiet summer evening: her feelings are reciprocated and they live happily ever after.

So have I felt since since I first saw his photo: it was love at first sight. As I held him in my arms that very first time I was taken. He had my heart. Yet part of me has felt like this is more of a one sided crush. Sure...he smiles for me, cuddles with me; yet really I am no different than anyone else who will smile at him or hold him. I'm just some nice lady who takes care of needs on demand and talks lovingly into his face.

Until Saturday...that special summer evening. It was a long, hot day at our church's river party. With all of the juggling of plates, chasing of kiddos, and the spontaneous dip in the river, Noah was spending a lot of times in the arms of others. At the end of the evening, I stood in front of his current holder and heard small fusses coming from his tired mouth. As I reached out to take him, the moment happened: the moment he recognized me as "more than just another pretty face." I was instantly grabbed by his two pudgy hands and pulled into the wettest kiss that I have ever seen by a baby. He then pulled away, looked into my eyes, smiled and once again pulled my face into his own. It was magic.

I love you baby boy and I am glad you love me too!


Thank you, Janine, for having your camera on hand!

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Arriving...and the journey there. Part III

The moment we stepped off the stagnant plane into the African air the same thought hit us: "Refugee camps!" It smelled identical to the rooms we used to visit at the refugee camps in Hungary. We walked down the corridor discussing how it must be due to their food. It had the smell of food and sweat, mixed with dirt and cattle. I know it doesn't sound good when described, but I breathed it in as sweetness; just not too deeply.

We follow the wave of people and assume we will get to where we need to be. As we stream down some stairs we see a sign marked "immigration visas" and break away. There is already a line of four people ahead of us so we take our place outside a small room and watch the large wave continue to flood down the stairs. As we do, the path towards the visa line swells and leaves us very thankful that we were moved from the back of the plane to the front bulkhead. The line now wraps around corners and, at the back, we see our fellow adoptive family somewhere near the end.

In a few minutes, we are waved inside and stand in front of a long table with several people sitting behind it...all with different jobs...and we look for a sign to direct us what to do next. One of the officials sticks his had up and moves it back and forth in the international sign for "We have lots to get through...would you hand me your papers already?!?" So we do. A lot of the process seems assumed. I try to look confident but I am afraid that is impossible, so I just stand back and let Josh take care of it. With a baby, you are often allowed to stand back...or at least you have an excuse. After several minutes of handing our papers to various people and shuffling money around, we walk our with our passports in hand- stamped with an Ethiopian visa.

Okay...now we see several lines. What now? As we are standing there...trying to figure this out, we are approached by another man who waves us over towards an empty line. Typically, in international travel, it is best to stay with the crowds. Empty lines mean you have caused some sort of problem and they have to deal with you separately. OR...in Ethiopia...it means they have seen the little infant in your arms and do not want you to have to wait. So we made our way up to the diplomat counter and again looked sympathetically back at our friends...still inching their way through the visa line.

The baggage claim had me worrying what everyone fears: "They lost our bags!" Josh was a little more (okay a lot more) confident and finally sent me to find somewhere to sit down: tired of my comments that the bags weren't coming. By the time I returned, there he was with the bags. One more process done. Once again, someone spotted us and rushed us to the front of yet another horribly long line to put the luggage through a security check. "You have baby...come with me." After some discussion in Amharic over the fact that we were pushing in front of another family with children and our attempts to step back and let them through first, we had our bags checked and were done! At least as far as I knew. YES! we were done! I saw a pool of dark faces behind a bar...waiting for their loved ones. I didn't bother looking for a "Yoder" sign as we were told to take a taxi. The first offer we got, we took and were walking hurriedly behind a "taxi man" towards the door.

My tired eyes welcomed the cool air and dark night sky. They were a contrast to the stagnant airports and artificial plane air. We passed a huddle of women who smiled and spoke in Amharic to me. I thought they must be telling me how cute my baby was so I smiled and nodded. We got past them and our guide informed me that they were telling me Oliver needed to be covered. I didn't think it was cold, but I must have been wrong because his long sleeve/long pants outfit was certainly not enough for the winter air of Ethiopia. Little did I know this would only be the beginning of Oliver's grief from my cultural sensitivity to keep him covered.

We had explained where we needed to go, but when we got to the car, we realized that the man we had been following (who spoke such nice English) was only taking us to our driver (who did not speak much English). We loaded into the car and headed off onto the dark streets. I suppose there were street lamps, but still I was not accustomed to driving on major roads in this lighting.
Josh took out the map and told him the landmark we were to give: "Atlas Hotel...near the Atlas hotel."

I wanted to tell the driver to slow down. The sights were hard to take in at such fast speeds. We passed small shack stores, a large Orthodox church with beggars lining it's gates, and people. People were everywhere. In only a few minutes we were slowing and obviously nearing the place where our landmark sat. Now to find the guesthouse. We made our way off the main road and onto a dirt side road. Two men slowly meandered down the side and stopped to stare as they caught sight of the "ferenge" who sat inside. This was the wrong street so we sat in the road as our driver called someone over to ask directions. Amharic...pointing...nods...on our way back down the street.

He seemed to know just where to go this time and in only a few turns, we spotted the sign reading "Mr. Martin's Cozy Place." Honk, Honk." and a tired guard opens the gate, lets us in, and shows us our room. Then, as quickly as we showed us in, he was gone.

Well, this is it: this tiny dark room would be our home base for the journey we unbelievably found ourselves on. We had arrived.

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

A Thought

I was reflecting on our time in Ethiopia today and remembering one of the hardest things: the feeling that we drew attention wherever we went because of the color of our skin. The attention was not negative or rude, it simply became draining. As though, no matter how hard we tried, we could not fit in. And then in struck me in a way like never before:

Is this what Noah has to look forward to?

Now I do fully understand that we have chosen to be a conspicuous family and am fully confident that we are up to the task. But just as the shock of new parenthood occurs, I find myself in the midst of the reality that we are a conspicuous family and am waking up to the fact that we are raising our black son in a white culture.

We have a lot of work to do. Any suggestions? Thoughts? Advice?

Thursday, August 07, 2008

A few shots of Noah

One Month Ago (just about) -still a little scared of the whole situation

Two Weeks Ago - a very reserved little boy



This Week - Coming out of his shell: such a darling personality!


We love you, little man!

Wednesday, August 06, 2008

Arriving...and the journey there. Part II

There we were...sitting on the plane with 36 hours of travel ahead of us. We were tired and thinking, "We've already been awake for17 hours...now this?" Honestly, once I sat down in the plane seat, Ethiopia still seemed days away. Sleep was sounding nice.

But sleep did not and would not come for the entire journey. We arrived in MN feeling like we were at a mini-vacation spot as we headed down to the baggage claim to meet my brother, Jon. After some phone calls (they live quite close to the airport) and a couple trips to his house (I forgot to mention that we needed a carseat), we were sitting with them at their lovely home. We couldn't have asked for a more relaxing morning as we sat, talked, went for a walk, ate lunch, and even got to see Jon's school. I phoned the boys for what would be the last time I heard their voice until we returned. I am glad I did not know this as we were talking.

Time sneaked up on us and our mini-vacation was over. Time for more airports. Off we went.

It is a blur, really. The security lines, the cramped seats, accommodating (and not so accommodating) stewardesses, fussy baby, happy baby, too tired to read...too excited to sleep. We watched movies on and off in an attempt to pass the time and silence the progression monitor yelling out how long we had yet to go. Oliver did well...despite some fits of crying from hunger and even worse fits out of anger at our audacity to try to feed him formula.

My favorite part of international travel was not missed: watching as we slowly went from being the total majority to seeing and hearing the sounds of foreign cultures, to being the obvious minority. This has always intrigued me and, as we sat waiting to board our plane to Ethiopia it was all the more apparent. We met an Ethiopian man and his family from Washington...headed back after 20 years for a visit. We also met the questioning glances from the many other Ethiopian or Sudanese travelers. I was almost certain, from the path of their eyes, that they were disapproving of Oliver lying on the floor. However, I was not about to pick him up: the poor kid was happy to finally be down and stretched out. I did move down to the floor with him. I wondered how we would survive in Africa with our relaxed style of parenting. I knew that we would never see these people again, but they are the countrymen of our son and I deeply wanted their approval.

It was finally time to board. After three hours and three not-so-great coffees (one spilled) it was time to board. We took our spot at the beginning of the line (thank you Oliver) and prepared for the security ordeal again. I heard my name called out (totally unexpected in a foreign airport) and turned around to see Krista (adoption agency staff) and Ryan (our social worker). They were on their way to pick up their baby as well! We talked awhile and then they took their place at the end of the line as we went ahead. Through the check stations and up to the front for questioning...again. Apparently we were supposed to have a paper ticked for Oliver. Each time we were pulled aside and questioned about this. It was never a problem, but each time had me holding my breath. Another couple was there with us with a five month old baby. They lived in Addis and were returning from the states.

I can't say why seeing these two sets of people made me feel so at ease. I was thoroughly enjoying being the minority and soaking in the feeling of being foreign; yet I was thrilled to see them. I felt as though until now maybe we had been on the wrong flight...but there were others from where we were from...so we must be doing something right. Josh will laugh. I am sure he did not feel at all like this, and I can't say why I did. That's just how I felt.

The flight did not seem as long: the last leg rarely does. Yes, it would be hours, but in our minds we were almost there.